I took the bus to work today, since my car’s in the shop. I haven’t taken the bus in a while, well, for a long commute at least. I think the last time I took the bus was back in high school. I got to listen to music along the way, which is actually refreshing, since it rarely feels like I have the time to listen to music anymore. If I end up do listening to music, it feels somewhat rushed and I don’t enjoy it as much.

The point is, I miss having time to myself. As much as I do like having a full work day, I really enjoy the time I have to myself. I like having the time to listen to different music and looking at art websites/blogs during my leisure time. It feels like I’m cheating myself out of what I really want in life. And although I should count my blessings, I should recognize that whatever I’m doing right now, is not actually what I want to be doing with my time and my life. I just want to be able to absorb art (in any medium) on a daily basis and feel rejuvenated and inspired by other people’s works.

I haven’t felt that feeling of infinity and sense of unforced leisure in a while, and that’s an unfortunate thing to realize. I feel it every once in a while, but it goes away. I really want it back. I’m 100% positive it’s there. Time to feel awesome again.